Sometimes a meeting does not have a tech host at which point the meeting secretary may ask people to come to this page and read the meeting readings from the below areas.
Serenity Prayer
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
The SAA Opening
Sex Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other so they may overcome their sexual addiction and help others recover from sexual addiction and dependency.
Membership is open to all who share a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior. There is no other requirement.
Our common goals are to become sexually healthy and to help other sex addicts achieve freedom from compulsive sexual behavior.
SAA is supported through voluntary contributions from members. We are not affiliated with any other twelve-step programs, nor are we a part of any other organization.
We do not support, endorse, or oppose outside causes or issues. Sex Addicts Anonymous is a spiritual program based on the principles and traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous.
We are grateful to A.A. for this gift which makes our recovery possible.
Our Program
Twelve Steps of SAA
1. We admitted we were powerless over our addictive sexual behavior; that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other sex addicts and to practice these principles in our lives.
These steps are the heart of our program. They contain a depth that we could hardly have guessed when we started. Over time, we establish a relationship with a Power greater than ourselves, each of us coming to an understanding of a Higher Power that is personal for us. Although the steps use the word “God” to indicate this Power, SAA is not affiliated with any religion, creed, or dogma. The program offers a spiritual solution to our addiction without require adherence to any specific set of beliefs or practices. The path is wide enough for everyone who wishes to walk it.
Abstinence Statement
Our primary purpose is to abstain from sexually compulsive behavior and help others to achieve abstinence. In line with this purpose, we feel that a brief statement regarding the meaning of abstinence is in order.
First, we define abstinence in terms of behavior rather than mental states. We do not focus our efforts upon abstaining from mental “lust”, but from compulsive behavior. Just as A.A. focuses on the need to stop the behavior of drinking, and as O.A. focuses on compulsive eating as the point of abstinence, so S.A.A. focuses on compulsive sexual acting out. The lust of the mind may take years to drain away as one works the twelve steps of recovery; abstinence from destructive and addictive behaviors, however, can begin today, and is the basic foundation upon which all subsequent personal growth depends. “Progress rather than perfection” is the atmosphere for growth that we seek to promote.
Secondly, abstinence will differ for each member of S.A.A., depending upon what behaviors are compulsive and lead to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. Some addicts can engage in sexual behaviors from which other addicts find they must abstain; in S.A.A., we leave the choice up to the individual.
Finally, abstinence does not imply the complete elimination of sexuality from the addict’s life, whether married, partnered or single; rather, it lays the foundation for learning a new approach to the experience of sex and relationships which is non-compulsive and non-destructive. Such an approach is possible to all who earnestly desire it.
The 12 Traditions of SAA
1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on SAA unity.
2. For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority; a loving God as expressed in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
3. The only requirement for SAA membership is a desire to stop addictive sexual behavior.
4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or SAA as a whole.
5. Each group has but one primary purpose; to carry its message to the sex addict who still suffers.
6. An SAA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the SAA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
7. Every SAA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8. Sex Addicts Anonymous should remain forever nonprofessional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. SAA, as such, ought never be organized, but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. Sex Addicts Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence, the SAA name should never be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, TV, and films.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
The Safety Announcement
The safety of our members is critical to our group’s unity and effectiveness.
It is important to remind everyone that SAA is non-professional. It is not sex therapy or group therapy and offers no treatment of any kind. It is not a society of hyper-sexed individuals, a place to pick up sex partners, a place to learn to control and enjoy lust, a social club, or an opportunity to solicit reactions from others.
If someone’s share contains explicit content and makes you uncomfortable, you may ask a host or co-host to ask the speaker to redirect their share appropriately.
If someone from this meeting contacts you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, tell them to stop and reach out to a host or co-host. Any member who is not respecting the boundaries of others in the group may have participation privileges restricted or revoked.
Do not share information about any illegal activities you have undertaken, unless they have been fully reported to law enforcement. Disclosing illegal activities puts attendees in a position of being party to criminal activity, and some may be compelled to report these activities.
Safety Committee Email: safety@ftrecovery.org
Closing Statement
Sponsorship is an essential tool for sobriety and recovery. For those looking for a sponsor, we suggest approaching or calling those whose recovery you relate to or admire to ask about their ability to sponsor. You may not succeed on your first inquiry, so be patient and remember you are not alone. You can learn more at the Sponsorship page of FTRecovery.org or ask for the sponsorship packet to be sent to you via chat or in fellowship.
As a reminder to us all, anonymity is the spiritual foundation of our program. What you have heard was spoken in confidence and should be treated as confidential. Who you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here. (ALL: Hear, hear!)
Whatever problems you have, there are those among us who have had them too. If you keep an open mind, you will find help. Let us talk to one another and reason things out, but let us not gossip or criticize one another. Instead, let the understanding, peace and love of our higher power grow in each of us one day at a time.
Final Readings
The Empty Chair
The empty chair awaits the member who has left the program in search of their true bottom.
The empty chair awaits the return of the member suffering the consequences of their addiction in jail or prison.
The empty chair reminds us of the loss of those members whose disease drove them to take their own life.
The empty chair awaits those who have not yet found our program and reminds us to carry the message to the addict who still suffers.
Once an empty chair is filled, we unfold another chair, so there is always a place here.
AA 9th Step Promises
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word Serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change, fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these unrealistic promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will materialize if we work for them.
SAA Ottawa Promises
Through a renewed relationship with God/our Higher Power, the healing force of recovery will take hold in our hearts. By giving ourselves over to God/our Higher Power and working our program, our lives will become manageable and we will be restored to sanity. We will receive the inner strength and support needed to face our anxieties and fears and to deal with the painful feelings that feed our addiction.
Relations with others will improve as we learn to respect our boundaries and allow others freedom to be themselves. Reaching out in trust and connecting with others will come easier, dispelling our sense of isolation and loneliness. Degrading fantasies and obsessive sexual thinking will diminish.
In relating to ourselves, self-absorption will give way to self-discovery; secrecy to honesty; feeling of unworthiness to dignity and shame to grace. A restored integrity will guide our behavior. We will feel more alive and regain a sense of happiness. We will hear ourselves laugh again and rediscover play. We will embrace change and will grow.
A spiritual awakening will free us from the tyranny of our addiction. An awareness of being guided by a Higher Power and supported by caring friends will sustain us. Regret for the past and worry for the future will give way to living for today. We will open ourselves to the amazing possibilities of a life worth living – our life.
Are these extravagant promises? “WE THINK NOT.” We have seen them fulfilled. They are ours, if we want them and work for them.